Descripción: Satirical interpretations of world events and curious human behavior.

Descripción: The Blockbuster Video Living Museum offers tourists a glimpse of how Americans rented movies before the advent of services like Netflix and iTunes. More coverage at: http://onion.com

Descripción: Unless Americans turn to alternative sources of entertainment, the 'Hannah Montana' star will soon be completely tapped out.

Descripción: John McCain claims that if elected he would save taxpayers millions by eliminating the Secret Service and defending himself instead. More coverage at: http://onion.com

Descripción: Panelists discuss whether controversial decisions by the Robot Congress and President Executron indicate robots have too much control over our lives. More coverage at: http://onion.com

Descripción: An Al Qaeda representative says that claims the U.S. government was behind the attacks on Sept. 11th are demeaning to Al Qaeda. More coverage at: http://onion.com

Descripción: After years of experiments and tens of millions of dollars, scientists have finally created a sheep that thinks and acts like a goat. More coverage at: http://onion.com

Descripción: Pausing only to eat, the West Highland white terrier yips and yelps 24 hours a day, according to neighbors.

Descripción: Our morning show's political correspondent offers tips on how you can seem informed about politics without picking up a single newspaper.

Descripción: Repeatedly stabbing monkeys with sharpened objects may have an adverse effect on their health, according to a new study. More coverage at: http://onion.com

Descripción: Despite arguments against capital punishment, the Justices overwhelmingly approved its use, especially if they get to participate in some executions.

Descripción: Girls between the ages of 8 and 14 spent the day helping their parents fight insurgents and defuse mines. More coverage at: http://onion.com

Descripción: Both candidates are stepping up their efforts to attract crucial 'no values voters' by abusing animals and murdering the elderly.

Descripción: The threat of nuclear war hangs over the region with no end in sight, just as it has for the past three decades.

Descripción: Fans are worried that the feature film adaptation of the beloved trailer won't live up to the original 90-second story's vision. More coverage at: http://onion.com

Descripción: A survey by the Shuttleworth Research Center found that the majority of male roommates ages 18-24 got wasted off their asses the previous evening. More coverage at: http://onion.com

Descripción: China revels in a UN report that found it has the highest smog levels in the world, a sure sign of China's progress and prosperity. More coverage at: http://onion.com

Descripción: Today Now! talks with a diet book author who reveals that many things are surprisingly edible when you are driven mad by hunger. More coverage at: http://onion.com

Descripción: As Queen Elizabeth II becomes the oldest reigning monarch in British history, we take a look at some of her most significant waving moments. More coverage at: http://onion.com

Descripción: White House Press Secretary Debra Browning reminds reporters that there were 26 other camps that the U.S. successfully closed on time. More coverage at: http://onion.com